When the weather is cold yet sunny, one gets caught in a dilemma. To go out or to stay in?
Going out means having to put on thick clothing and braving the cold, when the wind blows upon your face, the skin freezes temporarily and for that split second it seems that you have stuck your face onto the inner surface of a freezer. Yet, the scenery can be quite priceless, because the surroundings just seem to exude this immense sense of serenity and beauty that can only be seen in an autumn setting. Many times, while taking the bus to school, I can't help but be in awe at some of the sights the way. In truth, the places I pass by are just buildings and trees, with an open field once in a while, but they somewhat come together to present a portrait that is worthy of a thousand snaps of the camera.
On the other hand, staying in need not be too bad an idea, especially if the heating is quite nice and it makes you feel all cosy and all that. But with the windows all closed, there comes a time when you feel quite stuffy in the room, claustrophobic, even, and you can't help but wish you could at least open one window widely. You also tend to do a lot of reflection, which can be both good and bad. Life can throw up many surprises, although some aspects can be planned and expected. Up till today, I still cannot decide if my fate really is in my own hands. There are times when I feel so helpless I wish the earth would just swallow me whole. And there are times when I feel like Jack onboard the Titanic shouting, "I'm the king of the world!" and think I am in control.
I have issues, that part I am very sure. Just how should I deal with them or cope with them, I suppose there are no quick answers, as everyday things change, situations change and people change. I look back at the time when I first started working, and compare it to now, and realise that I am no longer the same person as before. Do I prefer the old me or the current me? I cannot tell. Then again, should I be concerned about this?
3 months have passed since I stepped into this new land, and started a new life. What have I gained? What have I lost? Honestly, I have no answers at the moment. Maybe next year, some answers may surface...