I have been clearing my CDs. Cleared out at least 200 so far.... They will become history. Gone. Forever. Well, there's some kind of significance I guess. Feels like casting away a piece of my life history. These CDs have somewhat accompanied through good and bad times. But seriously I cannot listen to them any more. Decided to keep only those that I really want to. Still quite a lot actually. And I've only cleared about half of my CDs. Will leave the remainder for another day to clear.
I don't know, I'm just going to the States for a year, but somewhat I get this feeling that I need to rearrange my life and leave little trace of my existence when I depart next month. Honestly, after all, what I need to bring with me, I'll bring. What I do not bring, I probably will never need it even when I'm back in Singapore? It's down to situations like this, I suppose, that one makes decisions with binary responses. Well, not sure what I'll keep and what I'll trash in the end, but a large part will be gone. Cleaning out my things, but also cleaning out my memories, I guess.
I foresee a huge disruption to my life when I return from the States, so I better plan for this disruption while I still can, even if it's just superficial. Of course, I wish things could be status quo, but unfortunately life is not stagnant and in order to cope one needs to move on no matter what... I guess that's what people call survival. Do we live life, or do we survive? I am too tired to rebel, to be obstinate, even though ironically I may be in a position to do so. Am I just passive and resigned to fate, I wonder. But what's the point of insisting on my ways? That would make me seem heartless, unfeeling, maybe even cruel. And I hate to be like that.
Well, can't wait for the departure day to arrive (but not before I have done my clearing up and preparations). Perhaps my mind will be clearer when I get away from it all, even if it is temporary.